After interracial dating

As we approached Chicago, I called him from a pay phone (this was pre-cell phone era) to let him know when we were arriving.He sounded very stressed; he said that we could no longer stay with him because his mother had been recently mugged by a black man and would not stand to have a black man in the house.We were driving cross-country one summer with two other friends, staying with whomever we could to save money.I had asked a friend who lived in Chicago if we could crash with his family. This friend was Mexican-American and came from a middle-class family.He directed us to a hotel where he had already made a reservation.He probably had less money than we did, and the hotel, more like infested motel, certainly reflected that.He felt so bad that he said he would pay for a hotel.I told him he didn't have to do that, but he insisted.

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I am Asian-American, and my college (and post-college) boyfriend was (and still is, I guess) half black and half white.

I don't remember thinking about the possible issues we could face as an interracial couple or from the fact that I would be a Jewish woman from New Jersey dating a Bangladesh-born, Queens-raised Muslim woman.

It's probably a mix of naïveté and the way infatuation clouds clarity, but throughout our now two-year relationship, race hasn't been an issue for us.

Now we were on a first date because I am a crazy narcissist.

I asked him careful questions about his years in the service and his home country.

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